My modest wishes for 2017

I would rather not dwell on past prayers. And God’s treatment of Job — killing his ten children, all of his animals and covering his body with boils, purportedly to test his faith — suggests that it might be better not to try His patience with idle, end-of-year prayers. Isn’t Randy Newman on to something in his ‘God’s Song’ — ‘I burn down your cities — how blind you must be/ I take from you your children and you say how blessed are we…’ So, modest wishes instead. In 2017, let’s not claim we’re on ‘a rollercoaster’ while describing some inconsequential personal drama. Or that some achievement ‘hasn’t sunk in yet’. Never again preface arguments unnecessarily with ‘going forward’, or ‘to be honest’. Avoid predicting that something ‘won’t happen any time soon’. If you find yourself emotionally in ‘a good place’ it’s better not to let on about it. Reject as dishonest all institutions public and private who respond to scandals by parroting the PR line that they ‘take your concerns seriously’.