When I told a Westminster political editor that my novel NUNC! was about the prophet Simeon and the Nunc Dimittis, he said: ‘Who? The what?’ I reminded him that the Nunc was one of the great canticles along with the Magnificat, Te Deum, etc. More blank looks. It is startling how scriptural knowledge has faded. Thirty years ago an understanding of Church worship was one of the things that bound us. Today we are expected to know about celebrities. Here the blank looks are mine. One day last week MailOnline had headlines about Sydney Sweeney, Blake Lively, Gigi Hadid, J.B. Gill, Allie Teilz and Young Scooter, ‘known for collaborations with Future and Gucci Mane’. Not known by me, he isn’t. I haven’t a clue what genders they are, even. Not that gender matters, one hurriedly adds before the hanging judges of Ipso pounce.
Has the next Archbishop of Canterbury any hope of success if people like my friend have not heard of the Nunc Dimittis? The Crown Nominations Commission is discreetly asking parliamentarians what qualities Justin Welby’s successor should possess. Here is my manifesto: 1) Withdraw bishops from the House of Lords. Being in parliament has done the C of E little good in recent years. 2) Urge most clergy to stop preaching. Sermons demand eloquence, imagination, learning. Many priests are prosaic bores. My organist wife was playing an away match the other day when the scruff in the pulpit told congregants they would not progress to Heaven unless they denounced the Balfour declaration. 3) Scrap mitres. They make bishops look fools. 4) No more talk of slavery reparations.
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