My hopes to become a high-status cultural Omnivore melt with ‘The Snowman’

More bad news for the ‘Hons’. According to a sociological survey funded by the Economic and Social Research Council, class doesn’t necessarily guarantee status. On the contrary, the two are barely even connected in today’s Britain. So the fact that my father was ennobled for, among other things, founding the Economic and Social Research Council has no bearing on my status. An unemployed ‘Hon’, such as myself, may possess class, but when it comes to my ranking in society I score lower than a ‘works manager’ (whatever that is).

Much though I’d like to dismiss this, I suspect it is true. I have long wondered why my tweed jacket and green cords have failed to secure an upgrade at the Virgin Atlantic check-in desk, while shiny-suited salesmen are fast-tracked into ‘Upper Class’, and now I know. All the years I’ve spent campaigning to get into the Garrick have been in vain.