Classes of people at moderate risk from Covid-19. Addenda to current NHS guidelines. Those at risk from coronavirus now include people who:
• Are 70 or older.
• Have a lung condition that’s not severe (such as asthma, COPD, emphysema or bronchitis).
• Have heart disease (such as heart failure).
• Have diabetes.
• Are a London property owner, or buy-to-let landlord.
You’re at particularly high risk from Covid if you’re an epidemiologist in an open marriage
• Are running a university as a highly lucrative property and real-estate business (with a small pedagogical business attached); i.e. 90 per cent of higher education. You’re now just the Open University with crenellations.
• Are married to a frequent business traveller. Not only is the miserable git going to be home much more than before, but they will soon turn the spare bedroom into a ‘home broadcast studio’: i.e. a replica of the bridge-deck on the Starship Enterprise.
• Are the kind of person who liked to discharge a year’s worth of social obligations by hosting a single overcrowded indoor drinks party where there is nothing but dismal red and white wine to drink and where no one over 50 can hear a word anyone is saying.
• Have used economic arguments to attack Brexit, as in ‘it would reduce annualised GDP growth by 0.7 per cent’. What you have there now, mate, is a rounding error.
• Are A.C. Grayling. Look, nobody’s interested any more.
• Are one of those tedious sinophiles who spent 20 years answering any business question with ‘Well, the future is all about China.’
• Are oil company executives, or are in the business travel sector. No, it ain’t coming back any time soon.
• Are engaged in a proper job, where you make things or move things about; your job will be almost certainly be downsized by someone in management working at home.
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