I have, for utterly explicable reasons, not been asked to guest-edit Radio 4’s Today this Christmas. Had I, though, I would have revived an idea first suggested, I think, by Tony Benn. Everyone loves the Shipping Forecast. But the weather forecast? That’s a different kettle of Michael Fish. The weather is rarely read, it’s emoted. ‘I’m sorry to say it’s been a rainy old day!’ Or, ‘Brrrr, bit of a frost, do wrap up!’ So why not replace emotion with detachment? First we carve up the country into meteorologically logical areas — since it’s Radio 4, let’s use Roman names — and then apply maritime thinking inland. ‘And here is the weather forecast issued by the Met Office at 0600. Pinnata Castra: moderate westerly winds; cloudy; 12 falling to eight. Cataractonium: easterly breezes; overcast; eight falling to six. Londinium: still; bright sunshine with patchy clouds; 18 falling to nine.’ Of course, it helps to imagine Charlotte Green’s voice.
Foyles bookshop used to shelve titles not by author or subject, but by publisher. As if anyone ever woke up thinking: ‘Perhaps today I’ll buy a Picador book.’ That said, over the past year I have undertaken a Foyles-esque experiment: I am reading from the ‘Classics’ list published by the New York Review of Books. I choose a handful of titles from Three Lives & Company, in Greenwich Village, using only the NYRB colophon as my guide. I have been introduced to some dazzling writing: The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy; Speedboat by Renata Adler; Like Death by Guy de Maupassant; The Cost of Living by Mavis Gallant… I have allowed myself one or two off-piste titles, including John le Carré’s excellent latest ‘last’ George Smiley novel.
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