Minister’s briefcase stolen in pub

As the current crisis unfolded in Ukraine, some of Westminster’s finest sought sanctuary in its watering holes. Among those enjoying libations on Tuesday night was Tory MP Stuart Andrew, recently reshuffled out of the much-maligned Whips’ Office to become the eleventh housing minister in ten years.

Andrew popped into the popular Red Lion establishment next to parliament after work for a quick one. Unfortunately, in the excitement the minister put his briefcase down, only to discover moments later the bag had been stolen. Cue pandemonium among the bar staff as a squadron of the Met’s finest was dispatched to try and find it, arriving on the scene within ten minutes of the reported theft. Not exactly David Cameron leaving his daughter in a pub but hardly ideal.

Steerpike’s spies tell him that the briefcase in question wasn’t Andrew’s ministerial red box but mainly comprised personal papers.