Michael Gove’s mandarin meditation lessons

It’s a stressful time in government. Inflation, strikes, Northern Ireland – it’s all a bit 1970s, but without the decent tunes. Central to Boris Johnson’s hopes of re-election is the levelling-up agenda: a task entrusted to the ever-effective Michael Gove, the Tory equivalent to Pulp Fiction’s Winston Wolf.

Managing all of Gove’s responsibilities – which also include the Union, intergovernmental relations and the housing of refugees – is a near-impossible task: especially when trying to reverse decades of regional inequality. So Mr S was relieved to see that Gove and his mandarins are doing their bit to cater for their underlings.

Government records show that civil servants at the Department for Levelling Up have spent almost £10,000 on a year-long subscription to a meditation app, Calm. The San Francisco-based company offers users ‘video lessons on mindful movement’, ‘nature scenes and sounds to enjoy while relaxing’ and lessons in how to ‘earn the life-changing skill of meditation.’

Good to see one part of government is ‘stress-testing’ its policies at least.