Men like me are sitting targets

I have a confession to make: I’m a sitzpinkler. That’s the German word for men who sit down when they pee, and it’s a bit of an insult – like calling someone a wimp or a ‘soy boy’. Real men do it standing up, apparently.

But the reason there’s a German word for it is because the majority of Teutonic men prefer the sedentary position. According to a recent international survey, 62 per cent of German men said they usually or always sit down to pee, compared with 50 per cent of Swedes, 34 per cent of Italians and 23 per cent of Brits. It’s particularly true of older Germans – with just 9 per cent of men over 55 saying they stand up. There is even a bestselling book about the eccentricities of the Teutons called German Men Sit Down to Pee.

Admittedly I’m 59, so have an excuse. In 2014, a group of researchers from the Department of Urology at Leiden University found that the seated position not only makes for a faster ‘voiding time’, but the ‘favourable urodynamic profile’ means the bladder empties more completely. That can be an issue for the older man, particularly one with prostate problems (although I’m not in that boat yet, thank God).

But the truth is, I started sitting down in my early twenties when I had no need of a ‘favourable urodynamic profile’ to syphon the python. My road to Damascus moment was reading an article in a scientific journal about why women have a longer average lifespan than men. According to the author, one of the reasons may be because they sit down to pee. If you assume we urinate seven times a day, spending about a minute each time, that works out at 2,555 minutes a year, or 191,625 minutes over a 75-year lifespan.