Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Melissa Kite: No more boyfriends for me

And that's the easy resolution

[Getty Images] 
issue 04 January 2014

Just the three resolutions for me. I am keeping it simple. Number one: no more boyfriends. The definition of insanity is repeating the same mistake while expecting a different result and I have been repeating this particular mistake for 42 years.

The truth is, I cannot do romance. I am elated to finally discover this and move on. The evening after it all finished with the builder, a friend rang me to see if I was alright. His tone intimated he thought I might have my head in the oven. In fact, I had my meal-for-one in the oven and I was in the best mood I had been in for several years.

‘How are you coping?’ asked the friend, his voice grave with compassion.

‘Fantastic!’ I whooped. ‘Did you know you can get little fish pies for £3.99 from Waitrose? I bought a bag of salad and some garlic bread on special offer and so my whole meal has come to less than a fiver!’

‘Are you sure you’re alright?’ he said.

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