Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Melissa Kite: My horse show shame

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issue 14 September 2013

‘Congratulations! You’ve qualified for The Sunshine Tour!’ beamed the lady judge, as she pinned a rosette to my horse’s bridle. I don’t know what The Sunshine Tour is, but it sounds like it has nothing to do with equestrian pursuits and everything to do with putting old people on a bus and taking them on a day trip to the seaside. Whatever it is, it must be very undiscriminating because I qualified for it by coming last at my local horse show.

It was my first attempt at ‘showing’ and wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t put in so much effort. The Builder Boyfriend and I had got up at 6 a.m. on Sunday to shampoo Grace, the skewbald hunter pony. After careful scrutiny of the unfathomable schedule, we entered classes entitled ‘In-hand Coloured’ and ‘Ridden Coloured’. Now, what I know about showing I could write on the back of an eggbut snaffle.

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