I’m pleased to announce an addition to the Young household — a ten-week-old Vizsla. For those unfamiliar with this particular breed of dog, they are Hungarian in origin and when fully grown are about the same size as a lab. They make good bird dogs — they’re excellent retrievers — but can also double up as household pets. We’ve named him Leo on account of his leonine colouring.
Caroline says it’s like having a new baby, save for the fact that she isn’t breastfeeding him, and that’s not a joke. For one thing, I had no choice in the matter, just as I wasn’t consulted on the four occasions she decided to get pregnant. She drove up to Wales one morning to ‘look at’ some Vizsla puppies and returned in the evening with Leo under her jacket.
Having a dog is also a big expense. I was dimly aware that he would cost the best part of £1,000, but had no idea there were so many extras. Not just the food — and the meat content of his diet is already higher than mine — but all the accessories, including a ‘den’, a winter jacket and a range of toys. Then there’s the Kennel Club health insurance, which is more than £600 a year. I’m amazed that no politician has run on a platform of setting up an NHS for dogs. I’d vote for him.
In some respects, it’s actually harder work than having a baby because you can’t put a nappy on a pup. At ten weeks, his urinary system resembles that of a rat in that he produces a constant trickle of wee wherever he goes. We’ve confined him to the kitchen, which would make our lives easier were it not for the fact that he’s worked out how to climb on to the kitchen table.

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