Surprising I know, but judging from The Foreign Doctors Are Coming (Channel 4, Tuesday), Britain mightn’t be such a bad place after all. The programme followed a group of medics from non-EU countries whose dream is to work for the NHS, but who first had to pass a practical exam in Manchester known, for reasons left unexplained, as PLAB 2. ‘When I landed in Britain it felt like a breath of freedom,’ said a young Pakistani woman. ‘People here are helpful,’ declared Ahmed from Egypt as he walked the Manchester streets. ‘I see you have no problem with other cultures.’
Meanwhile, it also seems as if our doctors are less off-puttingly patrician than elsewhere — because the purpose of PLAB 2 is to check whether these people have the sort of kindly bedside manner that Brits evidently expect. ‘Back home, we are God,’ an Indian doctor told us in a slightly wistful tone, ‘and the patients just listen to what we say.’
In order to temper their divinity, the medics had all signed up to a 12-day course run by the genial Dr Swamy, whose job is to remind his students that their patients should be treated as fellow human beings. And early in the course, some role-play exercises showed why he needs to. In the Breaking Bad News lesson, one student breezily informed an anxious husband — played by Dr Swamy himself with somewhat hammy relish — that ‘Your wife may die at any time. It’s all in the hands of God.’ (‘She may die?’ shrieked Dr Swamy, moving into full melodrama mode.) Later, another student was startled to learn that before inserting a catheter it’s best to let the patient know that you’re about to stick a tube up his penis.
Even so, the most shocked reaction came when Dr Swamy told the class that they’d sometimes have to give teenage girls contraception without the parents’ permission.
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