I sometimes identify with something that Evelyn Waugh once said. A friend asked him how come he claimed to be a Christian, being such a cantankerous curmudgeon, such a master of cruel wit. Well, Waugh replied, imagine how horrid I’d be if I didn’t try to be a Christian.
There’s something authentically Christian in that answer – an admission that we can never be very successful Christians. Because it demands so much, this religion is an awkward commitment, full of tension and ambiguity. Because it demands so much, we can be honest about our failure.
For me, this capacity for honesty is crucial. If I felt there was no room in Christianity for such honesty, I think I would have walked away. For it would feel artificial, hypocritical – a matter of pretending to be more pious and moral than one really is.

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