Manifesto destiny

If economics is the dismal science, manifesto-writing must rank as a candidate for the most dismal of arts. Too often in recent times it has been a case of writing down the word ‘future’ and then throwing virtuous-sounding words such as ‘fairness’, ‘change’ and ‘all’ into the air and seeing in what order they land. Manifesto-writers ought to subject each sentence to a test: do not include any statement unless you can imagine your political opponents saying the opposite. The title of Labour’s manifesto sums up its intellectual exhaustion: which politician this side of the 19th-century would ever have opposed a ‘Future Fair for All’?

That is what makes the title of the Conservatives’ manifesto so distinctive. Taken literally, the Conservatives’ ‘Invitation to Join the Government of Britain’ is of course absurd: David Cameron is not going to find room in his government for Doris of Dewsbury as undersecretary for pensions.