Low life | 6 June 2019

Of course the varifocals I bought online were a waste of money. When they came in the post and I first put them on I could see the world up to and including my fingernails but anything beyond was a blur. I should have guessed that emailing a photo of my face with a credit card fixed to my forehead, as directed, was too rough and ready a guide to the correct measurements. If the glasses had been right it would have been more of a surprise. Being poor is always more expensive in the long run. I’d have been better off spending the £200 on some class As and a hat and going to a party.

These were the second pair of glasses I’d bought online whose only possible use was as an executioner’s blindfold. Add to that about three pairs of magnifiers at £30 each, which worked with the text examples in the shop but nowhere else, and for the total amount of money spent I could have gone to a high street optician.