Low life | 26 March 2011

This year I was once again sumptuously entertained at the Cheltenham Festival by the racing tipster Colonel Pinstripe in his tented chalet. On Gold Cup day I presented myself at the flouncy entrance and the Colonel, standing just inside, like the custodian of a harem, warmly welcomed me in. Before introducing me to the company, the arm came around my shoulder and he steered me discreetly to one side. ‘My girlfriend thinks she’s got a stalker,’ he said anxiously. ‘Oh, no!’ I said. ‘Well, she’s not my girlfriend yet,’ he said, waggling his eyebrows, clearing his throat and adjusting his pink Hermès tie.

And that’s how it is with the Colonel. He likes to get you off on the right foot with a daft joke. It sets the right tone. Rogues and funsters, as he puts it, is the kind of society he likes to have in his hospitality tent at Cheltenham.