On Valentine’s Day I took a young lady out on a date. She was so young that the forms of address that she used in the brief flurry of emails leading up to the big day were entirely new to me and I had to Google them to find out what she meant. She called me ‘biatch’, for example, which I now know is the latest all-purpose variant of the African-American slang word ‘bitch’ — a term of endearment for one’s girlfriend. I was very excited and even a little nervous as I hadn’t been out with a young lady for a long time. Fortunately, the swollen half of my face, the visible result of an infected root canal, was starting to subside, thanks to the 500 mg amoxicillin capsules thrice daily prescribed by the emergency dentist.
I took her to an evening football match, West Ham United versus Southampton.
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