Jeremy Clarke Jeremy Clarke

Low life | 13 December 2017

The accused were myself and a fellow passenger, a gentle, calm, cultured Englishman aged about 80

issue 16 December 2017

We ascended the gangplank and were smartly directed to the ship’s library, where the seated purser swiped my debit card and took our passports. This purser’s face was prematurely aged, disfigured by misfortune, implacably hostile. Would she be keeping our passports until the voyage end, we asked humbly? We would get them back at the end of the cruise and not before, she barked, furious at our ignorance of the ship’s rules.

Cabin 302 was one deck down, next to the dining room. Catriona’s suitcase was already placed outside the cabin door. Mine perhaps had yet to complete its journey through the cruise-terminal security machinery. The cabin was roomier than expected. A sealed, chintz-curtained porthole vouchsafed a view of the horrible sea. While I investigated the facilities, Catriona filled the lockers with her clothes and erected our miniature portable Christmas tree. Then a German voice, speaking in English, filled the cabin.

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