Love thy neighbour

The curtain of my upstairs neighbours’ flat has been hanging by a single hook for three weeks, and if something is not done about it soon I am going to call the police. There must be a part of Blair’s legacy, a piece of legislation on a statute book in Westminster somewhere, which includes a clampdown on this sort of thing.

If the nanny state stands for anything it must stand for minimum standards of household drapery. A socialist administration so authoritarian that it can oversee the baking of cakes at village fairs can surely enforce interior décor regulations in the smarter parts of south London as a way of safeguarding property prices. In the present climate, the economy cannot withstand shocks like this.

Let’s be clear. We are not talking about a badly hung curtain. We are talking about antisocial behaviour of the kind that makes the reckless cake bakers who fail to use state-approved raising agents look like model citizens.