The new government seems to be struggling with the logistical intricacies of removing Britain from the European Union. I can only assume they have never tried to put together a theatre awards. The Evening Standard Theatre Awards take a year to arrange, but it can sometimes feel like the whole thing is done in a week, which passes in a blur of seating plans, speeches, menus and other thespian miscellany. It is theatre within theatre. If the Prime Minister is reading this, I am available to consult on how to manage conflicting egos in a high-pressured environment.
Between Maggie Smith, Eileen Atkins, Kristin Scott-Thomas, Joan Collins and Shirley Bassey, a full range of damehood is on display. As Rob Brydon pointed out, with the exception of Kristin these ladies are all eligible for the government’s winter fuel allowance. The usual complaint is that the worlds of stage and screen are obsessed with youth. Not here. It wasn’t just the women, either: David Attenborough and Michael Gambon are many things, but few would call them sprightly youths. Diversity takes many forms.
As usual there were several contenders for the worst-behaved guest, but the competition for best behaviour had a standout star: Vladimir, my borzoi puppy. He arrived and left on time, sat quietly during the speeches, and didn’t once get up to go to the loo. He even hummed along to Elton John’s performance of ‘The Circle of Life’, from The Lion King. The borzoi is also known as the Russian wolfhound. They were bred by the Tsars to hunt wolves on the steppe. So despite Vladimir’s immaculate manners he will probably not be introduced to Boris and Lara, my other two pets, who are timber wolves and live in Italy.
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