Lockdown is making a Lib Dem of me

If this lockdown doesn’t end soon we are all going to turn into hairy lefties.

I have just cut the builder boyfriend’s barnet, very badly. It is my second attempt, and while the first went rather well, because I approached the enterprise cautiously, this latest one has gone horribly wrong because I got a bit carried away with the clippers.

My mother is a hairdresser so I assumed I might have it in the blood. I helped out a lot in her salon when I was a teenager.
I can shampoo and sweep the floor just fine. But of course the rest of it requires more detailed training, I now realise.

One further complication is that I could not get hold of a set of men’s hair clippers. Boots had sold out and I struggled to find the right ones online, and they were hellish expensive, so I decided to improvise.

The BB screamed at me when I first sat him down and produced the horse clippers. ‘Well, if they’re all right for Darcy,’ I reasoned. And they weren’t the big body clippers, just the smaller ones with which I do minor trimming of the fetlocks.

In any case, he was devilish cross from the start, so I also had to try to use the scissors to reassure him. I shaved up the back and sides, with him screaming and claiming I was jabbing his scalp, then I snipped away at the top, impersonating the way I have watched my mother cut hair for years. When it got tricky, I held sections of hair with a comb and snipped into it, scissors pointing at the hair ends, which is how I trim the thoroughbred’s mane to ensure there are no chunky edges.