Lily Allen. Lights! Camera! Hanky! It’s been a vintage year for Twitter’s comedy genius.
The needy pub-bore grumblings of Tony Blair.
Ditto John Major.
Ant and Dec. Even after the drunken prang it’s impossible to tell them apart.
The panicky new jargon of weather forecasters, (old version in brackets). Flood warning. (Drizzle). Drought warning. (Drizzle clearing). Zero visibility. (Overcast). Threat to life. (Hail). Hypothermia alert. (Frost). Blizzards expected with a wind-chill of minus 50. (Easterly breezes).
Susanna Reid. Why does she let the bloke with the big head do all the talking?
The minor Johnsons. One is acceptable but do we need the others? And I don’t buy the ‘good for tourism’ argument because France doesn’t have Johnsons and it’s full of sightseers.
Jurgen Klopp’s teeth.
Comics who think a banality becomes funny if it includes the word ‘Wetherspoons.’
Jane Garvey ending discussions with, ‘and let’s remember not all men are like that.’
The prospect of Baroness Swinson – although it would be fitting for someone who finds voters rather tiresome to join an unelected chamber.
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