Top of my ambitions for this year: be less nice. Do fewer good turns. Be less amenable and most of all a lot less kind to animals. While this sounds a bit grim, you have to consider that I am starting from a very high base. If I go out of my way to be heartless every time a stray needs rescuing, I reckon the most I can hope for is that I won’t end up with every single one of them in my house. Just 50 per cent of them. Frankly, I would settle for that.
Because I must not continue the year as I have started. With another rabbit in my kitchen. How this happened I have absolutely no idea. Why, when asked the perfectly preposterous question, ‘Would you like a rabbit?’, do I always end up saying, ‘Yes, of course, bring it straight round,’ when what I mean to say is, ‘No, no no! I’m fuller than Noah’s Ark on a wet weekend in Ararat.’
Now I’m down £80 for another deluxe indoor rabbit cage, £54 for vaccinations, £68 neutering.
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in