James Bartholomew

Left without pleasures

I used to scorn them. Now I just feel sorry for the poor things

issue 20 February 2016

At a party recently I started talking to a friendly, charming woman and we established early on that she was left-wing. We chatted about this and that and for some reason I asked her if she played golf.

‘Oh no,’ she replied. ‘As I’m left-wing, I am not allowed to play golf.’

I was taken aback. Here was a soul who would go to her grave without ever experiencing the thrill of watching her drive soar into the air and race more than 200 yards down the middle of a fairway. A feeling akin to pity brushed across my mind. Concerned, I asked if there was anything else she was not allowed to do.

‘I suppose I am not allowed to play bridge, either.’

That is not such a heavy blow, to my mind, but still, bridge is a game which I understand gives pleasant times and company to many millions.

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