Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Kiss off

Email signoffs are now competitive displays of bogus emotion

issue 18 February 2012

Do you xxxx? Sorry to be impertinent. Perhaps you simply xx or x? I’m not a natural x’er, but it’s hard to resist when everyone else is x’ing all over the place. Besides, if someone x’s you, it would be rude not to x back, right?
Truly, in this age of emotional incontinence, the etiquette of text and email signoffs is becoming a minefield.

In the ever-intensifying arms race to display more and more emotion, even if it is entirely bogus, we are sending little figurative snogs to perfect strangers. We are ending the most businesslike emails with a valedictory expression of love and longing when a ‘Kind regards’ would do. I’m starting to long for the days when all letters culminated with ‘I beg to remain sir, your most humble and obedient servant’. At least we knew where we were then. Now even the simplest of messages can become a car crash of extraneous fervour.

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