For many years I would chat genially with our local Jehovah, Stephen, who came door-to-door every few months or so, always hopeful that one day I would let Jesus into my life. (Will he babysit, I would always ask. Will he pair socks? Will he interrupt me during dinner LIKE YOU?) Then I actually read one of the Watchtower magazines he always left behind and discovered that if your husband is violent and beating you then you need to ask yourself: am I being a sufficiently loving wife? Next time Stephen appeared he was doing his rounds with a teenage girl so I looked her in the eye and said: ‘If a man beats a woman, it isn’t and can never be her fault.’ And that was the last I saw of Stephen. (Not strictly true, in fact, as he’s often hanging around the bus stop. But he never knocked again.)
So this is what I knew about Jehovah’s Witnesses, and it was all I thought I ever wanted to know about Jehovah’s Witnesses, thanks very much.
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