JP Morgan’s new campaign for Leave

Leaked plans for a ‘European Super League’ of top football clubs have left fans feeling as sick as a parrot today, amid fears of the impact such a move would have on the beautiful game. Under the proposals, Europe’s leading teams such as Manchester United and Real Madrid would juggle their domestic leagues to sign with a new midweek competition that would see them play regular games across the continent against one another.

Politicians here in Britain have already been quick to get ahead of the backlash, with Boris Johnson claiming such plans ‘would strike at the heart of the domestic game and will concern fans across the country.’ Gunners man and five-a-side devotee Keir Starmer added that ‘this proposal risks shutting the door on fans for good, reducing them to mere spectators and consumers’ while the relevant sports minister, culture secretary Oliver Dowden claimed it ‘could create a closed shop at the very top of our national game.’