Johnsonian

In Competition No. 2790 you were invited to take inspiration from Samuel Johnson’s A Dictionary of the English Language of 1755 and come up with some suitable Johnsonian definitions for modern times.
 
Thanks to Michael Williamson from Australia, who suggested that I invite competitors to put themselves in the Good Doctor’s shoes and imagine how he might have responded to our 21st-century world.
 
It is a tall order indeed to follow in the footsteps of such a towering figure. His elegant definitions, which often resemble mini exercises in moral instruction, are shot through with his defiantly un-PC prejudices, yet leavened with wit and utterly without sanctimony. Opera is defined as an ‘exotic and irrational entertainment’; Oats are ‘a grain which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people’.
 
These are the Johnsonian hallmarks that I was after. The prizewinners, printed below, are rewarded with £7 per definition.

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