Jeremy Corbyn, your rhetoric sucks — here are five ways to improve it

Perhaps the most teachable moment in the BBC’s coverage of Jeremy Corbyn’s speech to the TUC came around the 38 second mark in the video here. Corbyn is reaching an emotional climax. He’s already delivered his big line:

‘They call us [smacks lips] deficit deniers… but then they spend billions cutting taxes for the richest families, most profitable businesses, why, er, what they – what they are is poverty deniers… [hurries on embarrassedly in case ringing phrase results in disconcerting applause]… They’re ignoring the growing queues at food banks, they’re ignoring the housing crisis, they’re cutting tax credits when child poverty rose by half a million, um, under the last government to over four million…’

Most of the audience now realises, around the word ‘queues’, that the big soundbite was five or six words back and that it’s too late for a standing ovation. So on Corbyn soldiers with that awkward tricolon (‘ignoring…ignoring… cutting’) – into the backside of which he has intruded a mundane statistic, trailing two modifiers, in order to make absolutely sure he’s killed any hope of oratorical lift.