Would it take much to turn Philip Hammond into Dracula? He’s got the gaunt bearing, the unsettling gaze, the greedy overbite and the louring stature of the blood-sucking count. Add an opera cape and a dab of mascara and the costume would be complete. So it’s strange to see this vampiric figure delivering a budget full of happy tidings.
Our economy is growing, he grinned, faster than America’s or Japan’s. Tax revenues are up. Employment has reached a new zenith. Joblessness has dwindled to 11-year lows. And he didn’t even mention London. A lot of the best data comes from the midlands and the north. He’ll probably never have an easier ride in the Commons.
The jokes were good too. Rapier Phil has a sharp tongue and an expert delivery. You don’t see the blade coming until – swiiittt! – it’s through you and out the other side.
He was burbling away about arrangements ‘under the last Labour government,’ when he suddenly added, ‘they don’t call it the last Labour government for nothing.’
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