Jeeves and the Midnight Mess

‘Christmas Eve in Mayfair, Jeeves! There’s nothing in heaven to top it. Even with the terror of eleventh-hour shopping for the gang Travers.’

‘Indeed, sir.’

‘But we can’t pitch up at Brinkley Court tomorrow bereft of g., f., and the other one.’

‘Myrrh, sir? No, sir.’

‘I fear I’m both a little later and much tighter than expected. I bumped into Bingo, you see, and had a snifter at the Feverish Cheese. Then we met Tuppy for a quick ’un at the Startled Shrimp, and finally we were accosted by Barmy who marched us for a gargle or two at the Mottled Oyster.’

‘Very good, sir.’

‘But I did not forget the Christmas presents! I have polka-dotted socks for Uncle Tom, shaving caboodle for Cousin Bonzo, something hideously perfumed for Cousin Angela, something hideously floral for Aunt Dahlia… and a little surprise for you.’

‘You are too kind, sir.’

‘Of course, I couldn’t resist these for me.’

I located a leather case in one of the many packages and showed Jeeves my acquisition.