When I was little I owned a set of pencils that had my name engraved on them. I didn’t have anything else with ‘Lara Prendergast’ on it other than my school uniform. The pencils seemed so rare and precious that I tried not to use them. The other day I found one stored away, the lead still sharp.
Personalised pencils aren’t too rare any more. In fact, stationery sits at the most mundane end of the personalisation spectrum. These days you can have your name on pretty much anything you buy. Personalised swings. Personalised bird feeders. A personalised ‘selfie’ toaster, which singes a picture of your face on to every piece of bread. Personalised tennis balls and horse saddles. Or a personalised quiver for your personalised arrows, perhaps. There are personalised jam-making kits and personalised pork pies. James Middleton’s company ‘Boomf’ does a range of personalised marshmallows. Prince George and Princess Charlotte must have received a box or two.
The personalised cheeseboard has become the present to give at weddings. One friend forgot to ask for just one, and found herself bombarded by the things, each stamped with the date of her wedding should she be at risk of forgetting it. ‘Personalised loo roll’ brings up 199,000 search results on Google. Tea bags, matchsticks, even condoms can all be stamped with your name. Or if you are feeling more romantic (or vain, depending on how you look at it), you can name a star or even personalise a seed so that your initials appear on the leaf.
It’s nothing new. The Greeks and Romans engraved their names on coins, and aristocrats and arrivistes have used coats of arms for centuries. But in the past decade the pace has accelerated at a terrifying rate.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in