Mark Mason

Is Keir Starmer too boring to be prime minister?

‘What do you know about Keir Starmer?’ My friend’s question came as we sat in the pub. It was part of an experiment, based on something he’d noticed.

‘Used to be Director of Public Prosecutions,’ I replied.

‘That’s the first thing everyone says. Anything else?’

‘Er …’ 

John gave me a prompt: ‘Is he married? Does he have kids?’

‘Pretty sure he’s married. And I think he has kids. But not totally sure on either. Certainly couldn’t give you names or ages.’

‘Constituency?’

This was when it really hit me: Keir Starmer is anti-matter for facts. I had to know his constituency – like John, I’m an amateur political nerd. But somehow the information had exited my memory. What’s more, the answer is Holborn and St Pancras, the former constituency of Frank Dobson, who the Tory MP Nicholas Fairbairn used to call ‘the Honourable Member for the two Tube stations’.

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