Is enough enough? Then let’s start deporting

I divide my time between two constituencies, the first a rock-solid Conservative seat in the south-east of England, the other a Labour-held marginal (which the Tories expected to take) in the north-east of England. And the thing I have not seen in either place is a nice blue placard or poster saying ‘Conservative’. Not one anywhere — completely absent. There are loads of them about for the other parties — mainly Labour, but a fairly broad scattering of that vacuous washed-out orange favoured by the Lib Dems and, in the southern constituency, a fair few for the Greens.

I suppose you might argue that Conservative voters think it vulgar to advertise their political allegiances. Whereas for Labour and Lib Dem voters, putting up a poster is a kind of virtue–signalling, a bit like lighting one of those candles we have at our regular vigils to commemorate the victims of Islamic murder. A Labour poster in your window says that you are a deeply caring person, whereas a Tory poster says simply: ‘I am a complete and utter bastard.’ That has always been the case to a degree, but I cannot remember a time when Tory posters were in such short supply. It reminds me a little of being in San Francisco in the run-up to the 2004 presidential election, when the sententious lantern-jawed bore John Kerry was challenging George W. Bush. In that most liberal of all cities, there were anti-Bush posters and placards on just about every housefront, most of them making some kind of humorous vaginal reference. But not a single poster actually for Kerry. Kerry lost, of course.

You have the advantage over me in knowing the outcome of the general election: you are in a more certain place than I am right now. Perhaps already (in my nightmares) packing your stuff up preparatory to relocating to Györ or Debrecen, where they have a vigorously right-wing government with admirably clear views about immigration and a top rate of tax of 15 per cent.