Iris Robinson could not live up to her own bigoted standards

Rod Liddle says that Northern Ireland’s First Minister and his wife held religious beliefs that made ordinary life — and marriage — impossible

Help me out here — we need a wholesale supplier, and quickly. If we are to save the soul of Iris Robinson, we need huge vats of the blood of Christ, in which she might humbly immerse herself. I have tried eBay and — ironically, you might think — the Vatican, but there seems to be a run on the blood of Christ right now — we are all after a sprinkling, here or there, to assuage our multifarious sins. Total immersion — which would require gallons of the stuff — is thus out of the question for Iris. But perhaps there might be some aerosol blood of Christ product, a sort of Presbyterian fundamentalist Cillit Bang! which might at least ameliorate the problem. Reader, I am still searching.