In the name of God go

If you think your life’s an unremitting tragedy, pity the proof reader at Gordon Brown’s publisher. The late and unlamented Prime Minister has been out of office for 58 days, typing 10,000 words a day. That’s 580,000 words already. Tolstoy took 4 years and 460,000 words to write War and Peace, Cervantes needed 10 years and nearly 500,000 words to write Don Quixote, and the Bible is 783,000 words. 580,000 words typed by a partially sighted man with maybe 30 years to live. Suddenly, life is beautiful.

Gordon Brown’s absenteeism is a clear cut case: it’s simply not on. If Brown is ill or can’t be bothered he should resign his seat. At last it looks like he might. According to a number of sources, Brown is considering ‘lucrative’ visiting professorships at several universities. Also, the alarming rumours that Brown is set for the IMF continue. But, of course, dithering is what Brown does best.