In defence of Jess Brammar

I noticed with interest that Gigalum island — off the Kintyre peninsula in Argyll — was up for sale for half a million quid or so. Nineteen rather barren acres, slightly warmed by the Gulf Stream. These little parcels of desolation quite often become available for purchase and I do wonder if Gigalum should be purchased by the state for the dumping of toxic waste. Gruinard island, further north, was used by the government during the second world war as a site for testing militarised anthrax, for example.

My proposal for Gigalum is that it should be a repository for everyone in the country with the word ‘diversity’ anywhere in their job title. The taxpayer would provide tents and low-quality food and the new inhabitants would be invited to employ their professional skills on the many colonies of seabirds which abound. Boat trips could be arranged so that normal people could view, through binoculars, the likes of June Sarpong lecturing a gannet about its inherent privilege, as a bird born with white feathers.

Some people may be offended by my use of the term ‘toxic waste’ for these people, but I mean it quite literally. This newish and fecund industry is, to my mind, wholly toxic, sowing division between people who would otherwise happily get along and treating certain sectors of our ethnic minorities as if they were needy children. And ‘waste’? Boy, oh boy. The money we would save by just housing and feeding these people instead of actually employing them in their chosen roles of making the world a slightly worse place. Various NHS trusts have been advertising for diversity co-ordinators recently, at up to £70,000 a pop. Yes, that’s the perpetually cash-strapped NHS, spending millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money on these asinine appointments.