I’m taking mental notes for my old age

I know straight away, from the look on my friend Alice’s face, whether it’s a ‘bad carer’ day. Five years ago Alice had a fall and she can’t now do stairs, so she lives just on the second floor of her maisonette in north London. When I drop round, the carer is usually in the kitchen and Alice in her bedroom/sitting room next door. If it’s a bad carer day, she’ll look towards the kitchen, do a thumbs-down sign, purse her lips and shake her head, then she’ll wriggle her shoulders – hoity toity – to indicate that she feels bossed about.

I suppose infirm 88-year-olds often need to be bossed about in a way. There are 960,000 people in this country, taken care of at home like Alice, and they need to be dressed, fed, heaved on and off the portable potty chair.