If John Bercow were two-and-a-half inches taller, he’d never have been such a big success

Unlike 99 per cent of my colleagues, I was quite touched by John Bercow’s comment about how fed up he is with jokes about his height. ‘Whereas nobody these days would regard it as acceptable to criticise someone on grounds of race or creed or disability or sexual orientation, somehow it seems to be acceptable to comment on someone’s height, or lack of it,’ he said.

OK, maybe taking the mickey out of someone for being short isn’t quite on the same level as, say, murdering them for being black or homosexual, but I think he has a point. I say this for two reasons. The first, obviously, is because I hope to become an MP one day and have a vested interest in sucking up to the Speaker. The second, though, is because I’m a bit of a short-arse myself.

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Patrick O’Flynn

It’s unlikely Rachel Reeves is going anywhere

Whenever anyone asks how tall I am, I say ‘five foot eight and a half’ — a surefire giveaway that I’m defensive about it, like my son Charlie saying he’s ‘five and three quarters’.