Hugo Rifkind Hugo Rifkind

If Dave were a plumber, he’d launch a policy review on your broken boiler

issue 17 November 2007

If he was a plumber, though, what manner of plumber would David Cameron be? The Tory leader, summoned via the Yellow Pages to fix a problem with your boiler. You would let him in, I think. Nice face, easy manner. ‘There’s a problem with your boiler,’ he would say.

Indeed, you would agree. So fix it.

‘I will,’ says David the plumber, ‘but not yet. First, I am going to set up a series of Boiler Review Groups. Some of these will be headed by really quite surprising people who have been harping on about boilers for years. They will look into the problem in depth, and then they will propose a series of solutions.’

Fine, you might say, boilers not being your personal forte. And then you’ll fix it?

David the plumber might give a little chuckle.

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