Things I learned about the Germans after a fortnight living as a non–tourist in Frankfurt:
1. Germans, and Germany generally, are among the world’s most underrated things. True they are not so adept at wit, snark, banter, jocularity or general frivolity. But they are kind, welcoming, generous and unlike, say, the French, charmingly grateful when you attempt to speak their quaint, guttural, impossibly inflected language even though — stimmt! — they speak yours so much better.
2. Here’s what happened when I lost my wallet. I got back to my hotel — cursing each step of the way the hours I would have to spend cancelling and re-ordering my cards — to find a message from the front desk. A young man had found my wallet while jogging in the park and had tracked me down via my hotel key card. He could deliver it at my convenience. Ten minutes later (this was 11 p.m.), a tall handsome German, whom I imagine would have been perfect Panzer-grenadier material a few years back, delivered my wallet. I had to work hard to press a €20 note (all I had) on him as a reward. He said: ‘I am only doing what I hope others would do to me in this situation.’ Dankeschön, Herr Linder!
3. Don’t mention the war, like I did just then. They find it really upsetting, even when you mention it in jest or by way of illustration of how far we have come since.
4. Squirrels. This is possibly the most amazing thing of all. In their parks, instead of scruffy, malign, invasive grey squirrels like we have, they have red squirrels. Actual red squirrels. Everywhere — as if they have no idea how rare and special they are supposed to be.
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