Ian Blackford’s six step guide to untold riches

Inflation. Energy spikes. Tax hikes. Low growth. It’s a tough time for hard-pressed Britons at present. The cost of living crisis has begun to bite and millions are starting to suffer. But not to worry: in these dark times, one man has emerged to champion the destitute and the needy. Step forward, Ian Blackford, the doughty defender of the dispossessed, who used yesterday’s Prime Ministers’ Questions to take up the cudgels of the nation’s underclass. The SNP’s Westminster leader – posing as a kind of Scottish Martin Lewis – inquired of Boris Johnson, with trembling lip, how British families are expected to afford April’s energy price spike. 

Noble stuff, even if Blackford’s own leader Nicola Sturgeon appears to have few ideas beyond a £4-a-week rebate for families. Of course, if the SNP really wanted to cut the cost of living, they could consider stop wasting millions on failing shipyards and botched airport sales. Still, what Blackford lacks in initiative, he more than makes up for in ingenuity.