We’ve all been there, haven’t we? One minute you are sitting down, with a cup of tea, ready to listen to Sir Keir Starmer’s latest conference speech, the next you wake up, 17 hours later, the tea spilled across the floor, a line of dried spittle tracked on your chin, because Keir Starmer is so intolerably boring, after a mere three seconds of his stilted and nasal delivery you lapsed into a state of unconsciousness which was sufficiently profound to register on the Glasgow Coma Scale.
This, after all, is a man whose idea of an incredible story is the time he went to a hotel and they gave him the wrong key. Starmer is the epitome of beige lifelessness. A void of charisma, he manages to make Rishi Sunak – whose latest motto is literally ‘long-term decisions for a brighter future’ – look vaguely interesting.
We think Boris Johnson is amusing mainly because of his hair, but has he ever bombed Trieste in a biplane while singing his own war cry?
All of which sounds as if Starmer is a bad choice for Prime Minister.
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