Jeremy Clarke Jeremy Clarke

I’ve been bitten by the TikTok bug

I lie in bed all day watching ratting videos, sunburned builders’ conspiracy theories and Alf Garnett rants

With frightening precision, TikTok sends me the northern comic Roy Chubby Brown on my daily feed [Trinity Mirror / Mirrorpix / Alamy Stock Photo] 
issue 30 July 2022

In theory TikTok knows nothing about me. I have posted two videos: one of my grandsons kicking a football in a garden, the other of their much younger selves running through the dry desert house at Paignton zoo. They are the most unremarkable clips imaginable. The last time I looked, the football being kicked in the garden had been watched 3,700 times and ‘liked’ by 650 people. Astonishing. Apart from those two videos, I haven’t posted.

My grandsons love TikTok. They are on it every day. They post videos of football cards they have collected and the ones they want to swap. Except when my grandsons post one, I never press the red heart to ‘like’ a video that appears on my daily feed. So while there are grounds for the TikTok preference algorithm thinking I probably like football, and that I am old enough to be a grandfather, it can’t possibly know anything else.

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