I spent Christmas Day helping the homeless – and I was bored out of my mind

When I told friends that I would be spending Christmas Day helping the homeless at a Crisis at Christmas centre in north London, they all congratulated me for doing something good for someone else. And then they congratulated themselves for having already done Crisis at Christmas years ago. Volunteering at a Crisis at Christmas centre is, I discovered, the Glastonbury of good causes.

Crisis veterans all told me about what a ‘rewarding experience’ it had been for them; some claimed it had been their ‘best Christmas ever’. Some take their teenage children along and they, I’m assured, love it too. And now when they ask me, ‘How was it?’ and I say, ‘It was OK’, they’re disappointed in me.

When it comes to Christmas charity work, OK is not OK. It has to be ‘-amazing’ and ‘life-affirming’. You’re expected to come back from the experience glowing with goodness and excited to share touching tales of how you put a smile on the face of an old toothless lady and gave hope to the pongy guy on crutches — while everyone else in Britain was indulging in an orgy of mindless, self-indulgent consumerism before the telly.

I too wanted to feel that goodness that comes from doing good. To experience that connection with some greater purpose than my own private and transitory pleasures; to be a good, caring and compassionate citizen who strengthens the bonds of social solidarity by helping others… So why was I bored out of my mind and why did I spend Christmas dreaming of an orgy of mindless self-indulgent consumerism before the telly?

I arrived on Christmas Day for the afternoon shift of 3-10 p.m. It began with the Crisis team giving us an introduction to our group leaders, which included Dependable Dave, kooky Lucy in the elf outfit, Sophie with the flashing antlers, and a woman who was so relentlessly cheerful and upbeat she seemed to have come straight from a re-run of Hi-De-Hi! Every speech from a team member was received with applause and loud cries of ‘Wow!’ and waves of high-fives.