I shed a tear for the SNP

For people who take politics seriously and very earnestly, such as myself, the present debacle within the Scottish National party is surely a time of great sadness and disappointment, rather than of jumping up in the air, screaming ‘Ha ha ha, suck it up, you malevolent ginger dwarf!’ and breaking open the champers.

Gloating in such a manner is odious and juvenile and so I simply shook my head sadly and even shed a tear when I heard that the party’s treasurer, Colin Beattie, had been arrested. In fact I spent most of the day beneath a shroud of tears, having learned that the mega campervan parked outside Peter Murrell’s mum’s house had been bought for ‘campaigning purposes’ during the pandemic – and then read the transcript of Nicola Sturgeon’s Putinish lecture to members of the SNP’s National Executive Committee who had dared to question the state of the party’s finances.

The tears failed to cease when the party’s inept new leader, Humza Yousaf, insisted that there was no reason for Sturgeon to resign her seat, because we have ‘moved past the time’ when wives can be held responsible for the actions of their spouses.