I’m emigrating to Islamic State – see ya, kafirs!

I am getting heartily sick of being subjected to low-level racist and Islamophobic abuse whenever I go out wearing my black Islamic State flag. It is a very beautiful flag, symbolic of freedom and love and bears the legend: ‘There is no God but Allah and Muhammed is His Messenger’, which I hand-painted in Arabic script. (On the other side it says: ‘Nothing to do with Islam’, just so as I can hedge my bets a bit.) Anyway, walking around London with it I can report that several people looked at me funny. That’s Islamophobia for you. Also, one fairly obese man shouted, ‘Fuck off to Syria, you wanker.’ That’s racist abuse, end of. I stopped a policeman to tell him about these incidents but by now the perpetrators were a very great distance away and avoided capture. The policeman admired my flag, I think. He did not tell me to take it off, at any rate.