I can’t wait for England to be knocked out of the World Cup

On Monday evening, I watched a man in a smart shirt and trousers put his friend in a headlock while bellowing at the top of his voice. In the central London pub I was in, guttural roars filled the room; the floor shook with people jumping up and down. A few minutes later and a few hundred yards away, people – well, overwhelmingly men – flooded on to Tottenham Court Road to stop the traffic and share their emotions with drivers. They didn’t just hail them from the pavement; they stepped in front of cars until they decided each driver had witnessed enough of their ritual. This happened because Harry Kane had scored an injury time winner against Tunisia in England’s first World Cup group game. Goodness only knows what will happen if Gareth Southgate’s team beat a decent side, or if – heaven forfend – they do what is described in World Cup vernacular as ‘going deep in the tournament’.