'I assembled a counter full of sharp objects, and went at it like Rambo in First Blood'

All the way around a cross country course I went, then I got back, tied the horse up at a wooden post and a splinter from the post landed me in A&E. This is what is known as Sod’s Law. I’m never quite sure who this Sod fellow is. But I do know the main thing Sod seems to want to demonstrate is that health and safety rules are a joke. There is, as we all know deep down, nothing you can do to make yourself safe in this world. We kid ourselves if we think we can stop bad things happening. They say God laughs at our plans. I reckon he splits his sides when he sees the guff that comes out of the Health and Safety Executive.

I turned up at the cross country course in a body protector that made me feel like my torso was in a vice. If riding a horse while barely able to breathe, never mind move, is not going to make you jump a fence incorrectly, then I don’t know what is. But cross country courses won’t let you in without a flak jacket. And a hat with a cover with a flexible peak just in case you fall off and land on your forehead.

So, trussed up in more hi-tech armour than I had to wear the last time I was in Iraq, I climbed aboard Grace. She, by the way, was sporting super-shock-absorbing wraparound cross country boots on all four legs, just in case she banged her tendons if we came a cropper. We had a terrific time.