I live north of the river in London and my parents live south of it, in the Tunbridge Wells. I have long been a registered user of the Dartford Crossing for fear of forgetting to pay to cross – and thus incurring an automatic fine. This means that the cameras at the bridge and tunnel recognise my car number plate and immediately deduct £2.50 from my bank account when they see it going over or under the Thames.
I found myself in an automated telephone queuing system. I was caller number 73
Or it did mean this until something went wrong. After my usual crossing in April, I started to get text messages from ‘Dart Charge’ to say my account was ‘dormant’ and I needed to ‘re–register my card details’. This sounded ominous, so first thing on the Monday morning after my weekend in Kent, I attempted to do this. I tried several times but each failed.

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